Research? Urgh...
So... It's already 6 pm and I am still stuck in the lab waiting for my polyacrylamide gel to stain before I can destain it. An average lab worker can afford to run 5 gels (and do many other peripheral tasks) in a day. However, it took me the entire day to run a single gel, after screwing up 3 gels in the morning. I think it was sort of my fault for not diluting the buffer 10 times before loading them onto the gel; however, I don't think that I should be blamed for the leaking apparatus that caused the gel to leak before it polymerized and therefore, earning a "you-screwed-up-again" glare from my post-doc. I think that my post-doc and I will be having a GREAT time over this summer :/
This summer has actually changed my entire scope of life, and I am rethinking of my career option (although there are not many choices to begin with). I mean, before working in the lab, I had this ambitious idea of getting my degrees and pursue my PhD at some prestigous graduate school. I had always thought that research is thrilling, because it means that one might make some shocking discovery that will shake the world. Yeah, dream on!
Working in this lab has made me realized what research is all about: trying to prove or answer your hypotheses. Discoveries are rare, and that only happens if one did something out of the norm and have a good sense of what's going on (+ luck too). Else, one will be spending his life trying to answer his questions by doing research (it's more like a curiosity quencher, where you find the answer on your own).
So, why do I think that doing research is not my thing? After spending weeks and weeks of pipetting solutions (mostly transparent or white, the most exciting ones are yellow) without having a general idea what those particles (the smal things that swim in the solution) do when you mix them together, it is just a laborious and boring task, especially when you spent an entire week trying to harvest 1 miligram (that's actually a lot) of protein which appears like air limau manis [but don't ever attempt to drink it!], or sometimes, the proteins did not turn out right and you have to redo the whole week's experiment again. Perhaps the most fun thing is analyzing the results on the gel. But as I have mentioned above, I suck at making gels... So, why research?
Therefore, I am actually reconsidering my naive idea of going to a graduate school to earn my PhD. I mean, getting a doctorate is very appealing, but at the same time, that would be like 4 - 6 years of pipetting and running gels. Do I really want to do that? However, I do not know what other career path that I can opt for with a major in Biochemistry. Perhaps being a CEO in a pharmaceutical company (another aspiring-yet-absurd facade) with my Econ degree might work, but that would require all sorts of miracle to happen. Urgh...
Sometimes I just do not wish to grow up. Life in high school or college seems more carefree. We can choose what we want to study for a short time of period, and switch to other fields if we do not like that current field, or continue to persue the course deeper if we were drawn towards the course. However, a career requires a long term commitment: it is very rare to see an accountant becoming a novelist in a year, or an aerospace engineer becoming a dentist (unless they have already pursued both careers at the same time). Thinking about what I will be doing 20 years down the road really scares me. I really do not wish to leave college...
This summer has actually changed my entire scope of life, and I am rethinking of my career option (although there are not many choices to begin with). I mean, before working in the lab, I had this ambitious idea of getting my degrees and pursue my PhD at some prestigous graduate school. I had always thought that research is thrilling, because it means that one might make some shocking discovery that will shake the world. Yeah, dream on!
Working in this lab has made me realized what research is all about: trying to prove or answer your hypotheses. Discoveries are rare, and that only happens if one did something out of the norm and have a good sense of what's going on (+ luck too). Else, one will be spending his life trying to answer his questions by doing research (it's more like a curiosity quencher, where you find the answer on your own).
So, why do I think that doing research is not my thing? After spending weeks and weeks of pipetting solutions (mostly transparent or white, the most exciting ones are yellow) without having a general idea what those particles (the smal things that swim in the solution) do when you mix them together, it is just a laborious and boring task, especially when you spent an entire week trying to harvest 1 miligram (that's actually a lot) of protein which appears like air limau manis [but don't ever attempt to drink it!], or sometimes, the proteins did not turn out right and you have to redo the whole week's experiment again. Perhaps the most fun thing is analyzing the results on the gel. But as I have mentioned above, I suck at making gels... So, why research?
Therefore, I am actually reconsidering my naive idea of going to a graduate school to earn my PhD. I mean, getting a doctorate is very appealing, but at the same time, that would be like 4 - 6 years of pipetting and running gels. Do I really want to do that? However, I do not know what other career path that I can opt for with a major in Biochemistry. Perhaps being a CEO in a pharmaceutical company (another aspiring-yet-absurd facade) with my Econ degree might work, but that would require all sorts of miracle to happen. Urgh...
Sometimes I just do not wish to grow up. Life in high school or college seems more carefree. We can choose what we want to study for a short time of period, and switch to other fields if we do not like that current field, or continue to persue the course deeper if we were drawn towards the course. However, a career requires a long term commitment: it is very rare to see an accountant becoming a novelist in a year, or an aerospace engineer becoming a dentist (unless they have already pursued both careers at the same time). Thinking about what I will be doing 20 years down the road really scares me. I really do not wish to leave college...
posted by Elansargelmir | 3:01 PM
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